honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
