At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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