DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
