i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
