after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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