please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think people are normalizing furries
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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