Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
