i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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