Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
