We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
