the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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