not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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