dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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