Your tits are I can't wait for
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Actions speak louder than pants.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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