Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
