No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we're making bets on your personal life
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
