I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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