In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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