my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
