I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
