Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
