you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
