Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
