If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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