Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize