Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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