I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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