She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
