glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
