I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
