Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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