so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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