I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
