All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
