side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
