well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize