I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
