Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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