i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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