I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
