can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
