all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
