wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
