your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
