I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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