So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
