Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
