I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize