yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
