Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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