Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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