Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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