the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
