yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think my moral compass just broke
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
