So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
