I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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