How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's just like the Real World with babies
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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