(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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