Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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