I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize