Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
why do cheetos always look like penises
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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