If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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