my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
